walking in the highlands

While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
B: R u ok?
S: Yeah!
B: Did u break anything?
S: No, there's nothing down here

Best Friend

A Man 2 commit suicide,
When asked: Why are you crying?
Pathan said: My wife ran wid my Best Friend & i can"t live widout my friend.

Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'

Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'

Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

problem

Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?'

Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'

Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'

Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'

Marriage Humour

Wife: 'What are you doing?'

Husband: Nothing.

Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'

Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'

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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife: 'Yes or no.'

Pu La Deshpande

Pu La Deshpande ekda T-shirt ghalun hindayla jatat. T-shit var tyanche nav thalak aksharaat lihile aste. "Pu La Deshpande". Tar T-shirt chya magchya bajula kay lihile asnar?
Pu Sh Deshpande. (pull/push)
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Pu La Deshpande pohayla gele tar tyanna kay mhannar?
Swimming Pool (Pu L)

Gift

One man his MBBS & did his first operation.
Soon after finishing,the patient died.
He prayed: hey Bhagawan pehla gift swikar karo!

Musibat

SAWAAL: Patni maike jaakar pati ko roj phone kyun karti hai??
JAWAAB: Taki pati ko yaad rahein musibat tali nahi phir aane waali hai..

RAM ne dhanush toda to SITA aai
KRISHNA ne bansi bajai to RADHA aai
Aur Hamane citi bajai to wo apane Bap ko leke aai

Churail

Wife: Jab tum DESI pite ho mujhe PARO kehete ho, jab Whisky pite ho toh DARLING kehete ho. Aaj kya piya hai jo CHUDEL keh rahe ho. Husband: Aaj main hosh main hu.

Bhaiya

Ek ladka ladki dekhne gaya...

Both are in a room for 10 minutes to talk each other...

Ladki (Darte hue) : Bhaiya aap kitne bhai bahen hain?

Ladka : Abhi tak to 3 the..lekin ab 4 ho gaye.

kutta

“ Munnabhai: Ae circuit yeh kutte poonch kyun hilate hain?
Bole to Dog tail shaking WHY?

Circuit: Common sense hai bhai ab poonch kutte ko to nahi hila sakti hai na. ”

A: Doctor please help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
A: Phone per.

machar

lady drinking coke, machar falls in .
lady take it out ,
machar says ;maaaaaaaa
lady ask why u did u call me maaaaaaaaaaaa
machar says mien teri kook(COKE) se nikla hon maaaaaaaaaaaaa

jhoot

Two boys ko 3 live Bomb milte hai… Wo un bombs ko police ko dene Jate hai……..
(raste mein… )
First boy: agar koi bomb raste mehi phat jaye to???
Second boy: jhoot bol denge ke 2 hi mile the .

Churail

Aik aadmi jungle se guzar raha tha
A Churail stops him & says:
Hoo Hoo Haa Ha Ha, mai Churail hoon,
Aadmi:janta hoon, teri 1 behan mere ghar main hai.

phuljhariyan

Child: Mom is bar saray patakhay hum is shop say lain gay,
Mom: Beta yeh tu girls hostel hai,
Child: Papa tu kahtay hain k sari phuljhariyan yahin rahti hain.

Forest officer

Ek jungle mein chuhay se sab dartey the,
agar sher us k samnay aa jata to dar kar bhaag jaata,
haathi bhi kahin chup jata,
aas paas k log yeh dekh kar preshaan huay or kaha aakhir kia maajra hai,
pata chala chuha Forest officer tha

khilone

Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar AA raha hai....
ghar ke sab khilone chhupa de.
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, who apne khilone pahechan lega.

Ravan

Ravan had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman!
You have only 2 eyes.......
But you sight every woman. Now tellme asali Ravan kaun?

boy- lagta hai hum dono ek sath nahi rah sakte
girl- kya mere papa se mile the
boy- nahi mai tumhari choti bhen se mila tha.

Beach

Father and Son were in conversation on the beach :
Son:Papa , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ?
Father: Tumhe nahe pata ?
Son: Nahe pata.
Father: Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach kahete hai .