Slow turtle

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."

Docter

French doctor: Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take
a kidney out of one man, put it in another and have him looking for work in
six weeks.

German doctor:That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it
in, and have him looking for work in four weeks.

Russian doctor: In my country medicine is so advanced that we can take half
a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for
work in two weeks.

Texas doctor: You guys are way behind ; we recently took a man with no brain
out of Texas, put him in the White House for eight years, and now half the
country is looking for work.